I Can't Take It
by Victorian.Goddess
Summary: Fred is depressed after his brother is killed. After several suicide attempts, he is placed into a wizard asylum to prevent him from hurting himself anymore. Rated T for content. Please R&R. Oneshot


* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, it's characters, the books, or the movies. All the credit for the characters, the movies, and the books go directly to J.K. Rowling. I'm just a fan writing a simple fanfic. I also do not own the song in the beginning of this fanfic. It's rightfully owned and written by The All-American Rejects.**

**A/N: I hope you like this oneshot. It's based upon the Seventh book of the Harry Potter series. I actually created this fanfic a while ago, so excuse the lameness of it. Please read and review!**

* * *

I can't take it , this welcome is gone

_And I've waited long enough to make it _

_And if you're so strong _

_You might as well just do it alone And I'll watch you go _

Hi, my name is George Weasley and for those that do not remember, I used to have a twin brother. A twin brother who I could joke around with and actually have fun with. His name was Fred Weasley. Unfortunately, he was killed during the battle of Hogwarts, which is where we reconnected with our older brother, Percy. The last thing I remember about him was when he laughed at a joke that Percy said. He had died with a smile on his face.

Also, he was my best friend and my co-partner at a joke shop that we opened during our seventh year of Hogwarts. You can find it in Diagon Alley under the name "Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes. All the stuff we sold there were made by both Fred and I. We worked hard to put that shop together and what nobody realized was, every time they'd hear an explosion in our room, they'd never know that that's what we were working on. We were working on creating normal wizarding stuff, but turning them into jokes. Entertainment is what we would like to call it. Unlike Percy, who was always a hard-ass and always played by the rules.

We got in trouble together, we fought along side one another, and most of all, we never got into fights that caused us to hate each other, so you can definitely see how close we are. But, then again, aren't _all_ twins close? I don't know if that's true, but…Freds' and my friendship was pure and true. The day I lost my ear, though, he got angry with me for cracking a joke about it. "Saintlike." I had said to him, eager to make everyone laugh. But, my brother, my best friend looked terrified. He had thought something was wrong with my brain. He had thought that, since my ear was blown off by a curse that Severus Snape had shot at me, it had affected my mind, but it hadn't. It just made the whole situation funny.

"Saintlike." I had repeated as I looked up at him. "You see…I'm holy. _Holey, _Fred, geddit?"

"Pathetic," he had said to me. "Pathetic! With the whole wide world of ear-relate humor before you, you go for _holey_?"

(HP, DH; CH 5; p74 & 75).

The only good part of that, was…Our mother could finally tell us apart. So could everyone else, which was a common mistake among family or friends of twins. But, now…he's gone and there's only me. I'm all alone with no one to talk to or to joke around with. Percy sucks at jokes, so…he's out of the question. Plus, Ron, Ginny, Bill, and Charlie are all gone and I'm alone with my parents, who have very _dry_ humor. I could never go to a therapist, because all they would ask would be "How close were you to your brother?" or they'd talk about putting me in a freaking support group, when I know for sure, that they had no idea how I felt.

It was the morning after, though, when I realized that a part of me was missing. That my twin, my brother, my friend, had been killed. It didn't hit me like it should've. It didn't feel as though it had been real. That's when I had a long thought about "what if it was all just a dream?" Then Voldemort would still be alive and kicking, so would my brother, Lupin, Tonks, Sirius, Dumbledore, and Harry's parents. But, I couldn't think at that moment, I couldn't remember what the last thing I had said to my brother was. Maybe if I used Dumbledore's old Pensieve, then I'd remember. I'd remember all those conversations I had with him. All those jokes him and I had made together. All those moments we shared laughing because we had done something to Filch to make him curse so much. But, I can't remember. It's all gone.

I had fallen into an unknown place, an unknown world. With all its familiarity stripped down to unfamiliarity. Maybe I wasn't meant to be here, maybe I should've been the one to die, not Fred. Or, maybe my thinking has surpassed another level of "crazy" that even St. Mungo's wouldn't be enough to keep me sane. Perhaps I'm just mumbling again, though.

Yesterday, when my mother visited me, she had told me that everything was going to be okay, that everything will soon change and I wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore. But, what they hadn't realized was this: I have been suffering with the loss of my brother and that cutting seems to be the only pain that I feel anymore. I hide it all, though, with a concealer spell so that no one would know about it and so no one could question it because then I'd be stuck on suicide watch, which means, I couldn't write anything I wanted to in the journal that Percy had given me. But, today I feel depressed, even more depressed than I had ever felt before. I had no one to talk to, no one to joke with, and no one to get in trouble with. For the first time ever, I was alone. I was afraid of life, of love, of hope, of dreams, and now, of thinking. Maybe I should just end it here. Maybe, I'd be better off so that everyone would stop worrying about me and they would stop talking about Fred. Maybe, it should end tonight.

Today I had suddenly lost sight of everything. Of my family, my friends, but most of all, my life. I'd been stuck in the mental ward of St. Mungo's for three years since I tried to fling myself off the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts the second Harry killed Voldemort, but, Percy had caught me in time. _He_ knew it was hard on me, but he didn't know _how_ hard it was for me to walk through life without my brother. He wasn't there most of the time, especially when we were siding with Dumbledore when Voldemort came back and when Dad was angry with him for getting a higher paying job than he did. But, he came through for us at the last possible second. I could also see that it was too hard for him to let Fred go as well. But, he wasn't as close to Fred as I had been.

After the Healer had left after delivering my water, I decided to do it. I decided to finally end it. End the pain and the suffering. End all of it. So, I did what I could do…I ripped the sheet off my bed, ripped a small strip off and tightly tied it to the pipe that stuck out of the ceiling. Pulling a chair towards it, I had tied a noose at the end of the strip of sheet Hoping that it was tight enough, I slid my head through the hole, kicked the chair out from under myself, and just hung there.

Everything began to flash before my eyes. My family, my friends, my life. I could smell the bacon and fried eggs that I would eat every breakfast with my family and friends. I could hear the Hogwarts Express whistle in the background as Fred and I cooked up another plan for the joke shop we were going to open once we got out of Hogwarts. I could hear the laughter of my parents through their bedroom door after Fred told them a funny joke. I could hear by brother Percy's pompous voice as he tells Fred and I off for joking about his Head Boy badge for the third time. I could see the embarrassed look on Ginny's face when Mum's howler addressed her after screeching at Ronald. I felt happy when Bill and Fleur got married, because it gave a chance for our entire family to gather together and talk. I remember seeing Charlie's ridiculous haircut that mum had given him that day.

As I was drained of all life and memories, I suddenly felt free. Finally, I was free. I could see my brother's face once more. I could watch over my family and make sure nothing happens to them. I'm finally free from this place. Finally free from all the pain I was feeling and causing myself to feel.

"George, what are you doing here?" Fred had asked me.

"I missed you. I couldn't go on without you, Fred." I felt tears streaming down my face as my throat burned.

"You shouldn't be here. You are not supposed to be here." Fred said angrily.

"I needed to be here. I was tired of feeling lonely. I was tired of always being depressed." I said.

But, Fred looked downright angry. I couldn't believe it though, he wasn't happy to see me. All I could feel now was confusion and hurtful.

"You shouldn't have come, George. You aren't needed here, you should've stayed with mum and dad. They need you more." Fred told me as his eyes gleamed with silent tears.

"STOP IT!" I yelled at him. I didn't want to go. I felt out of place where I was. Why couldn't he see this? Why couldn't he figure this out?

"What about mum and dad? Or Ginny, Ron, Bill or Charlie? What are they supposed to do now? Are they supposed to sit around like you have done and harm themselves?" Fred asked angrily.

"Please, Fred, please! I couldn't go on anymore, I couldn't keep doing what I had done to myself. I felt trapped where I was." I said angrily.

"Well, then…come with me. I have someone that needs to talk to you." Fred told me as his expression changed from anger to disappointment.

He had led me through a white, pearly, archway that's light blinded anyone who saw it. But, I silently followed him to a white room where none other than Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Nymphadora Tonks were sitting at a table.

"George, what are you doing here?" Lupin asked when he spotted me.

"Do I have to answer this question again?" I had asked irritably.

"What about Molly and Arthur?" Tonks asked.

"Well, what about your child? Huh? The one you left behind when you both foolishly went off to fight?" I asked angrily, not being able to hold it all in.

"Come on, George." Fred told me as he led me to another door, which was the color of the night sky.

"What's this?" I had asked when we entered the room.

"It's the watcher room. We can watch our family from here." Fred told me as he lifted up a silk cover.

But the sight underneath was horrible. It had been displaying the ward at St. Mungo's where I had been staying. Everyone, it seems, was there. My mother, my father, all four of my brothers, and my sister were there. They all seemed to be crying, horrified at the sight of my lifeless body dangling from the pipe that protruded from the ceiling. My mother and father, it seemed, were yelling at the healer for not keeping an eye on me.

_There's nothing to worry about now, everything's fine, everything's alright. I'm okay. The pain is finally gone now. So please, stop worrying. _


End file.
